I can't be the only one that is still reeling from this surreal turn of events. March is cancelled. April is most likely cancelled. The rest of the school year is potentially cancelled. Summer is on probation, and nobody is able to see far enough into the future to make accurate predictions about the fall. It's absolutely nuts! But what is crazier is how I've been dealing with it.
“There is no heartbeat.”
Those words have echoed in my ears over and over again. I’ll never forget that terrible day; how I waited for an ultrasound to confirm my doctor’s fears… how I then drove to my husband’s office and we cried together in the parking lot.
Loss never looked this real before to me. Death never hit me so hard.
"It'll be fun," they said. "Have a baby!" they said. So you did. Now you find yourself, not unlike the vast majority of new mamas, just weeks or months after the most excruciatingly difficult physical experience you've ever encountered, LITERALLY going insane. No, it's not just you... but yes, you are insane. Welcome to postpartum!
The first week of your baby's life is perhaps the most amazing and awe-inspiring as you watch them slowing begin to awaken to the world they have arrived in. But let's be real - those first 7 days are perhaps the most intimidating, terrifying and ultimately the hardest you've ever experienced to date! And instead of getting easier things tend to get harder, at least for a time. Although my husband and I both came from big families and had lots of experience with babies, when we brought our firstborn home from the hospital, many nights I would begin crying as the sun went down, so dreading the long night ahead. True story. And, no matter what you do or don't do, transitioning into life with a newborn is as painful as growing a limb. Or so I can imagine.