I was tired. Not lonely, hysterical or even sad tonight. Just tired. One of the many unexpected side-effects to a long deployment is an emotional numbness that creeps in toward the halfway mark. I missed my husband. I hated living alone. I couldn't wait for it to be over. But there was nothing I could do about that, so I climbed back into bed and went to sleep. Welcome to the second half of the deployment. The unexpected truth? It's harder than the first.
I will never in my life forget the incredible thrill of adrenaline that rushed through my veins as I, at long last, made the 2 hour drive on that glorious day to pick up my husband after a long 10 months. Excitement doesn't even begin to describe it: I was electric - my blood was on fire. It's a miracle I made the trip in one piece! The nervous jitters, excited way-too-loud laughter, hot-cold sweat as I tried to push away that walking-down-the-aisle urge to go to the bathroom that every bride has.... it was nearly too much. I clung to my toddler for dear life, and tried to keep myself from visibly shaking.